Toddler Panic

Who is this Non-Baby?

It feels like overnight my tiny newborn son has turned into a kid. The last few days have felt so surreal, I'm wondering how I've gotten to this point and where 5 has managed to learn so many things when all we do is play and sew and do housework?! (I know, I know, play and observation are how they learn, but it's still hard to believe!)

I gave him his first "real" haircut this weekend (read- cut more than just the stuff in his eyes, not professional) and all of a sudden I noticed all of these other big kid things he was doing.
Like copying my faces, kind of.
He makes the sounds for 5 different animals: dog, elephant, horse, lion, bear, oh my!
We skyped with my parents today and after we hung up, he blew them a kiss. That was new.
He's been shaking his head no for a long time, but now nodding yes is an option too.

I feel like I was finally really getting a hang of this baby stuff and now I don't have one anymore. I've been having one-sided conversations for so long I don't know what to do when 5 actually answers me.
As exciting as it is to have all these momentous changes taking place, I will admit I'm a little bit terrified. This is when we scar him for life, right? Some tiny thing we say or do at this point in his life is what he'll be telling his therapist 30 years from now. Mindful parenting was so much easier when he wasn't obviously copying every single thing I do.

Okay, panic valve opened, pressure released. I keep having to remind myself that 5 has shown me very clearly what he needs from me every single day since he was born. He still is, I just have to pay attention. This morning, I had clearly spent too much time editing photos on the computer because 5 walked over, took my hand, and pulled me out of the chair. We sat on the rug, he got out toys and we played. And when he was done with that, he grabbed a book and climbed in my lap. And when we were done reading books, I had fulfilled the mama-time need and he went off to play some music on his own and I went back to editing photos.
It's so easy for me to fall out of each present moment that flows easily from one to the next and into being overwhelmed by what each moment adds up to over the course of a childhood.

As 5 has started doing so much more and taking a more active role in our daily lives, it becomes so very clear that while each day may seem to plod along, we are buckled securely into a ride that will only continue to gain momentum.
It's exhilarating, and terrifying, and I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the whole world, ever.