I should preface this story by explaining the situation a little bit. I am afraid of spiders. I can't look at pictures of them because I imagine those pictures crawling on me under the covers at night while I'm trying to sleep. I also seem to attract spiders. Not so much anymore, but spiders used to follow me wherever I went. I'm pretty sure I could find spiders in Antarctica.
I have been working on this fear for over ten years. I've gotten a LOT better. For the most part, spiders that are less than one inch across do not bother me unless they are on my face. However....
The old houses in Hancock, where I live, have what I call "seasonal spiders". We see them in the Spring and in the Fall and rarely in between. These are not normal spiders though. The only spiders I personally have seen that are bigger are the cane spiders in Hawai'i. These buggers are the size of the palm of my hand and they can MOVE. They can probably run faster than me, not that I run all that fast, but I'm like a thousand times their size.
The up side of these particular spiders is that they are so heavy they can't climb. They stay on the first floor and they stay on the ground. Or so I thought.
The little guy and I woke up at around nine and had our nice, happy morning snuggle time and then we got up and went to the bathroom so I could change his diaper. Both of these rooms are on the second floor of our house. We're laughing and playing and then one of these big mama spiders walks right past my feet. The maternal instincts that I was sure would turn me into some fierce warrior to protect my child completely abandoned me and I ran from the room shrieking. Five started crying and I had to go downstairs to put shoes on before I could force myself to go back in and rescue my baby.
The only thing that mitigates my guilt at all is that I knew he was safe up high on the changing table...
As embarrassing as it was to call my husband at work and beg him to come home to kill a spider or let us move to another state before lunch, that is exactly what I did. Big Fred, wonderful man that he is, dutifully came home and hunted for the spider. The bad thing about not being afraid of spiders though is that he doesn't have the adrenaline and paranoia to help him find them. He declared the beast gone and got ready to leave. I convinced him to go with me while I changed the diaper just for a minute. As I timidly re-checked everywhere that Fred had, I discovered that my nightmares had indeed come true and not only did that horrible spider make it to the second floor but he had climbed up the wall behind my husband, leaving no safe zone for me at all. Yes, I abandoned my child once again as I ran from the room shrieking.
So I'm now sitting in a chair in the middle of the room, baby on my lap, where I can monitor my perimeter constantly and attempt to take my mind off the invasion with some of my favorite artists. Enjoy!